If you’re into that sort of thing, New Haven is a great place to witness eldritch wealth and power slipping through the natural world. Honestly, I couldn’t even figure out how the kid got online Metro-North trains don’t have Wi-Fi. Was he buying a $600 pen as a gift? For himself? If he lost it, would he just buy another one? Did he shop around? Was this actually a cheap expensive pen, paling in comparison to a $900 pen, a $1,500 pen, a $4,000 pen? How much does a $600 pen weigh? What kind of things does a nineteen-year-old write with a $600 pen? Poems? Contracts? I didn’t ask, of course-I find contact with the thoughtless exercise of this kind of capital horrifying yet wondrous, like the angelic encounters described by believers, so the questions themselves were vessels for spiritual unanswerability. I went from peeking out of the corner of my eye at his laptop screen to gawking, filled with questions. Once, on a Metro-North train between New York and New Haven, I watched the Yale undergraduate sitting next to me buy a $600 pen. This edition is about the NBA’s health and safety protocols, a tuna melt, and mausoleums of all hope and desire. “Let Us Now Praise Giant Men” is a basketball column by Liam Baranauskas.
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